More Funny Mother
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/kids/parents...is (are) taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
posted by Mr. Bebout at 11:47:00 AM
7 Comments:
Why can't the forwards I get be this frigging funny?
Believe me, what makes them funny is the number of bad ones I sift through to find the gems.
I enjoyed the "Pick me" one. All my forwards are Kristen's crappy forwards, so thank you Dave.
This is one of the funniest things that I have read in a long time! Thanks Dave!
I am glad you liked it so much
Sorry Dave, but those are as old as the chicken and the road jokes. Those were being forwarded back when Sam Walton was still alive. Get with the times! Or better yet write your own material you can do better than those lame top 15.
Actually: My dad used to walk around the grocery store with a box of tampons and slip them in old people’s carts. He also had me light a bunch of smoke bombs under our car while he looked under the hood confused. Oh and the other day Bobbi (without shoes) stepped in a puddle of piss while in a changing room. Now that’s funny!
Curt, the family background explains a lot.
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