Stolen From Tam

I thought you would all like to know me this much more and what better way than one of these interweb poles? So, read and learn a little bit about me, Mr. Bebout.

Taken a picture naked? No. I don't like to have my picture taken to begin with. There are some bath time photos my mom took of me in the early 70's, but I didn't think they were of the nature this question was concerned with.

Made out with a member of the same sex? No. I did kiss Powers on New Years Eve. It was dry and closed mouth but his date was concerned. I thought it was funny as hell b/c the next year he got a kiss from a tranny at a gay bar at midnight. So the real question is why was he at a gay bar on NYE?

Danced in front of your mirror? Yes. My moves take practice damn it.

Told a lie? Yes. Alright no I have never lied. Oops now I have lied again. Or have I?

Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yes. It was called a cop car and I had no choice in the matter at that point.

Been in a fist fight? Yes. It has been some time and I did not like it very much.

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes. I have hated so many and they have all loved me.

Been arrested? Yes. It was BS, although I was guilty as charged, it was still BS.

Left your house without telling your parents? Yes. I am grown now and have my own house. For a time I did call mom in the morning before work, but she tired of it and asked me to stop.

Ditched school to do something more fun? Yes. I do not think I was in attendance one full day of my senior year. I also went ot Kent and was under the impression that classes were optional.

Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes. Hey, I got bills.

Seen someone die? No.

Kissed a picture? Yes. Not in a sexy way.

Slept in until 3? Yes. I worked 3rd shift.

Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes. I did work for Summer's Eve and it was in the script.

Played dress up? Yes. Sometime a man just wants to feel pretty.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Work,Yes School, Yes. I worked 3rd shift and thought classes were optional. I was not always the stand up guy I am today.

Felt an earthquake? Yes. I was in 7th grade math class and saw the wall crack. It was not as exciting as in the movies.

Touched a snake? Yes. With my shoe to stomp on it.

Ran a red light? Yes. On accident, I thought it was a stop sign.

Had detention? Yes. See previous comments about ditching.

Been in a car accident? Yes. "I love front wheel drive. Just look how it holds the road." We have never forgiven Rosey Palm.

Pole danced? Yes. but just for money while I worked my way through college.

Been lost? Yes. But then I met Mrs. Bebout.

Sang karaoke? Yes. "How's everybody doin' tonight?"

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes .

Laughed until something you were drinking/eating came out your nose? Yes. To much liquid has shot ourt my nose during a laugh to recall them all. I do however recall in great detail the chuncks of half chewed onion rings. Things were not as funny after that.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes. See comments about cloud watching

Kissed in the rain? Yes. Spring time in Ohio does not leave enough dry days to be choosey. I gots to get mine you know.

Sang in the shower? Yes. Like my dance, I must practice my song.

Got your tongue stuck to a pole? No. I don't give a dman how many times they show that crap movie with Messy Marvin, I never fell for it.

Ever gone to school partially naked? No. Although one time, before it was cool to do so, I bent forward and half my ass popped out of my Lee Riders much to my shagrin.

Sat on a roof top? Yes. I even sang "Up on the Roof" on a roof top.

Played chicken? Yes. No with a train like Cowboy Troy, and I don't know for a fact that the other guy was playing.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No. Who wears ALL their clothes at once?

Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Yes. Strippers are very friendly ladies.

Broken a bone? Yes. Mixing bowl + index finger = pain.

Mooned/flashed someone? Mooned,Yes. Flashed, Yes. I am driven to give my fans what they want.

Forgotten someone's name? Yes. But I can't recall who that was.

Slept naked? Yes. Some of my best memories are of being naked in bed.

Blacked out from drinking? No. I have gotten very sleepy and quite quickly, to say the truth, but... I wouldn't call it a "blackout".

Played a prank on someone? Yes. "Kelly Rippa" bitches.

Felt like killing someone? No. I am too cute for prison.

Made a parent cry? Yes. And then asked if she wanted me to give her something to cry about.

Cried over someone? Yes.

Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Yes. Does this mean onl patrner sex? Anyways.. Um Oh yeah I am aking between the sheets. 5 times everyday. Before noon. If I am sleepy.













Had/Have a dog? ? Had, Yes
Been in a band? No
Drank 25 sodas in a day? No
Shot a gun? Yes

Did you Know?

I know a guy named Don. His real first name begins with L so he goes by L Don for important stuff. So when he meets people they ask what the L is for and then they know his secret. He would be better to shit can the L and move on.

In conversation it is rude to use industry jargon unless all in attendence work in the same industry and already know the jargon.

If you have a bag of dog poop in your hand it is more polite not to shake hands with someone than to.

If you are not fresh do not hug someone you do not sleep with.

If you have a crappy pen, don't offer it to someone in need. Pretend you didn't notice they needed a pen and keep on your way.

Sometimes when people say they don't want anything they mean it and you should shut up and move on to another topic. If you don't have another topic, keep quiet.

Moving On Up

Since I graduated high school in 1991, including trips to college dorms, I have moved 15 times. That comes out to once a year, but there were a few moves in quick order that have benefited me greatly.

The 16th move is coming in the very near future. This one will be the last for quite some time, 5 to 7 years if all goes well. Mrs. Bebout, the Younger, Beau Bridges and I are moving to our very own house. I won't put the location down as I don't want you all to know where I live.

There are mixed emotions about buying a house. It is fuck load of money let me tell you that. Also, you have to take care of. So far, if the yard looks like ass, I just blame it on the landlord. Now I have to blame Mrs, Bebout and we all know that she is not one to do yard work so that leaves the Younger. As he can't move too much on his own power for right now I doubt none but the dimmest of you will believe that it was his job to cut the grass and pick up dog shit.

So now I have to be the yard work guy. I have to cut the grass after work on Tuesdays and pick up sticks and whatever else comes along. I already pick up the poop, mostly. (In my opinion if you choose to cut grass professionally, stepping in dog poop becomes an everyday risk and not a tragedy)

There are more ups to this though. No more people living upstairs who flush the crapper while I am in the shower so as to ruin every morning. No more unauthorized trash in my can to take to the curb or leave to stink. No more mystery disappearance of lady things from the laundry room. No more 3 AM dice games in the apartment below. No more regulation about cooking outside the kitchen. No more strangers in the back hall asking about Steve. No more smell of curry from down the hall.

But the best part is that for the first time in a long long time, I have a place that I can call home. I have had some nice apartments and they have been OK for a year or so, and I stayed back at my mom's for a time or two as situations forced, but I have never felt at home.

Our new house , we picked out. We saw it and felt like it was right for us. I can my son growing up there and bounding around the yard with Beau Bridges. I can see friends and family over for summer parties in the backyard with grilled meat and canned beer and pasta salad. I can me putting campaign signs in the yard. I can see Christmas Trees and Easter Egg Hunts at my house.

Too Much Beer and Cabbage?

This may be old, but I just saw it and laughed out loud. So, close the door and turn the speakers up a touch...

Click to watch: Farting Preacher 5 (a)

More Funny Mother

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/kids/parents...is (are) taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"